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Getting ghosted by potential clients never feels good, but what if we took that feeling and shifted it to a more positive light? In this episode, Katrina shares her experiences on working through emotions when clients ghost or say "no" and how you can shift your mindset to feel more empowered when that happens.

The episode:

Hello! It is Katrina Widener, your host of the Badass Business Squad podcast and I am here to talk about another hot take today. It is really interesting because when I was sitting down and planning out this podcast episode, I knew that I wanted to talk about potential clients ghosting you. I realized/I remembered that back when I first started my business I had a blog post that was all about why potential clients are ghosting you. This blog post was very, very logical and I stand behind everything I sat in it like, "You're not demonstrating your value to the customer through your copy, or your marketing. You're not automating responses, so maybe you're not responding to them quickly enough, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera." If you're interested in that, I will link it in the show notes. But the approach I wanted to take today is really about transforming our mindset around the idea of potential clients ghosting you, so that it doesn't feel quite so heavy. 

Back in 2021, a guest expert Allison Mosso came and talked about client rejection and she was able to give some really, really insightful information around how to navigate through when you get rejections from clients. And I really wanted to expand upon that topic a little bit when it comes to clients ghosting you and change your mindset on what this means for you and what this means for your business. As a society we are so, so conditioned to see anything but a yes in those client conversations as a failure, as a disappointment, as something to be ashamed of, as something to feel embarrassed about. And really my goal here today is to say that's not the case at all.

I love to do this exercise with my clients when we're talking about this and that's really sitting down and saying, "Okay, when I myself have a consult with someone, I very, very rarely am saying no to someone because they suck," right? If we think about what happens when someone says no to us, or someone ghosts us, we generally take it personally. Especially if we're a solo-preneur. And the reality is that when someone says, "No," it's generally just because you're actually not the right fit for them.

This is where my passion for alignment comes in because I am so deep in my own journey of alignment. I have moved through so many phases of my life, each one getting closer to the reality of who I am, how I operate, what I want in life, how I want my life to look, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, and I know that that's only going to continue on for the rest of my life. So when I say no to someone that I am the potential client for, and I reverse those roles, it's never because they don't have a good service. It's never because their marketing wasn't done correctly or they're not good at what they do or any of those sorts of situations.

And I should put the caveat in there, it's probably like 9 out of 10 times that's why. I have had a few selling experiences that leave a bad taste in my mouth. But 9 out of 10 times, if I'm saying no, it's because it's genuinely just not aligned with me. It's because I'm trusting my decision making authority, which I'll link the Human Design episodes in the show notes in case you do not know what a decision-making authority is. But it's me saying, "I know myself, I know my business, I know how I make decisions the most aligned for myself. And so if this opportunity has come my way I can make a confident, aligned decision every single time." 

And as a coach, and specifically as a Human Design informed coach, I want every single client who works with me to be genuinely aligned with me. I want every single client who works with me to be an ideal client, to be a dream client, to be the person that I'm like, "Hell yes, I want to work with you." And if someone is getting told a yes 100% of the time, I actually, as a coach would turn to that client and say, "You are not being discerning enough. You are not being specific enough. You are not bringing in your ideal clients. You are most likely going to have client interactions that don't feel good to you." Because 100% yes conversion means that you're not actually getting people aligned with you. So when we take that knowledge and when we take that mindset and we look at clients who are ghosting us, or we're looking at people who are saying no to our services, it's not a bad thing. I want to make that very clear. People saying no is not a bad thing.

Sure, it can feel disappointing, especially if we're like, "Oh I could really use that income." But we don't want to be those businesses that take whoever just for the money. We want our ideal clients, every single freaking time. We want to work with people who we adore. We want to have the clients that we say, "If every single one of my clients could be like them, I would love my business even more than I already do." So changing our mindsets from a client ghosting me, or a client saying "No" to me is a failure, to a client ghosting me is giving me an indication of how they're going to be the rest of the time we're working together. Or a client saying no to me is saving me from having to pull teeth to get this person to send me their files, or show up to their meetings, or do their homework, right? It's actually easier for us to look forward to those meetings. 

And I want to be clear, we're not talking about toxic positivity here. I'm not saying we're being like, "Oh my gosh I have to find the good in every single situation." And we're not saying, "I need to make sure that I feel good about every single thing that happens." We can still feel disappointed that the person who we had on our consult wasn't an ideal client, but that's all that we want to look at it as. If you're a copywriter and someone's looking for a web designer, you're not going to be offended they're not hiring you to do that work, right? If someone though is looking for a specific type of copywriter and you are a copywriter who does something different, you might be more tempted to bend over backwards to fit yourself into their mould. That's what we don't want in our businesses. 

When I talk about alignment, it's not just alignment in your marketing. It's not just alignment in how you spend your days and whether or not you have a schedule and what your sales strategy is, which is all stuff that we cover. It's also alignment in who are the people I'm bringing in? How do I guarantee ideal clients every single time? And that's by not being afraid to say "No." And that's by not being afraid to hear "No." 

If you are hearing no over and over and over again, it also is an indication that something isn't working for you. We don't want to hear "yes" 10 out of 10 times. We also don't want to hear no 10 out of 10 times. And so if we take this and we're able to say, "Question one, was this my ideal client? Yes/No? No." The second question we ask ourselves is, "Am I getting mainly people who are not my ideal client?" Ideally you're also saying "no." 

If that's the situation, then you can take that information and just say to yourself, "Okay great. They're not a good fit, moving on to the next one, right? Ariana Grande. Thank you, next." The next indicator though, is that if that second question was a "Yes," then it's actually helpful information for us as opposed to something to be ashamed or upset about. If you're mainly getting "nos" then there is something in your process that needs to be shifted and evolved, and now we can actually use this to get you "yeses", most of the time. 

So maybe it's your marketing that needs to be adjusted. Maybe your copy is bringing in the wrong person, and having that information is actually going to be empowering for you more than anything else. Because you're able to say, "I now know where the problem lies. I now know how to fix it." 

And I understand that it feels shitty to be ghosted or it feels shitty to be told, "no," but the truth is that it is one of the best things that can happen for you in some instances because you're allowed to say, "I can shift my thinking. Oh, this is not an ideal client, that's not someone I would want to work with anyway." And not in like a crabby angry mode, but in a genuine like, "Oh okay. I can let this go because I know that it's not the right person. Or it's, "Oh now I have the information I need to bring in the right people." And so it really is more clarifying and empowering, and allowing you to really be that CEO of your business instead of being the reactive solopreneurs, we'll say.

Anyway, I hope that this was able to help you shift your mindset a little bit on getting ghosted by clients, and getting told "No," and allow you to really see that "rejection" as something that is more helpful than not. If you're like, "Okay Katrina, sure, sure, sure. That all is nice and whatever," and you'd like a little bit more clarification as always feel free to reach out to me. I am happy to talk more on this subject. I'm happy to chat in the DMS or on email as always. I will actually be the person on the other side of these conversations. 

So I hope it was helpful for you, and I'd love to talk to you more if you'd like some further assistance or support. Thank you guys all, and have a great day.

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