Normalizing Client Rejection

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With any business, it’s normal to experience rejection, whether it’s in the form of low likes on an Instagram post or a potential client telling you, “No thanks!” In this episode, Allison Mosso joins us to normalize client rejection — and maybe even shine a light on how it can be good for your business.

Allison Mosso helps self-identifying women repair their relationship with food, heal their perfectionism, and lessen anxiety so they can feel at home in their body.

Website // Instagram // Facebook // Facebook Group

The episode:

Katrina Widener: Hi, everyone. It's Katrina here with another episode of the Badass Business Squad Podcast. Today, I'm very excited because I have my friend and former group coaching expert, Allison Mosso here today. We're going to talk a little bit about normalizing rejection in business, but before we jump into that, Allison, will you just explain a little bit about who you are and what you do so everyone can get to know you a little bit.

Allison Mosso: Yeah, thank you for that brief introduction. I'll give a little bit more detail now. So my name is Allison Mosso. I own my own business in Minneapolis, Minnesota called Mosso Nutrition and Fitness. And I primarily work as a nutrition counselor with identifying women who have spent the past 10 years weight cycling, yo-yo dieting, and they want to create a healthy relationship with food and their body image so they can move on with their life. And then the other two hats I wear is a personal trainer, so I do one-on-one for that, and also I'm a corporate health and wellness speaker, mainly talking on the topics of mental health and nourishing your physical, mental, and emotional body.

Katrina Widener: Yay. I'm really excited because Allison actually talked about this topic of normalizing rejection a little bit... well, I shouldn't say a little bit. The entirety of her group coaching spot was about normalizing rejection, which was a lot of fun because I think that it's something that we don't always talk about in business.

We get a lot of like marketing tips or mindset tips, but this is also something that every single business owner comes up against, but almost no one talks about. Allison do you want to start by just letting people know a little bit about why this is a topic that's important to you and why it's something you decided to speak on?

Allison Mosso: Yes. Absolutely. So when I think back about four years ago, when I started Mosso Nutrition and Fitness, this is a topic that I wished was so much more normalized that you will get rejected, that when you're starting off as a solo entrepreneur, or, you are your own business, nobody's going to really know you.

So therefore your engagement naturally may not be as high right away. It's going to take time. It's going to take follow up consistency and normalizing that you're not for everyone. And as somebody who has the background of perfectionism and people pleasing. This was a really hard hit coming into my business because I was just so excited to help people.

And I was so passionate about it. Still am. Don't want to speak in past tense. But it's like nobody was knocking on my door. I, I didn't get why people didn't want to work with me or why nobody was receiving my messages or that my mom was the only one watching my Facebook lives and I really took it personal.

So it's something that when you invited me last late fall to speak to your group about, I was so fired up because I truly believe that when we normalize rejection and we just talk about it like it's something that happens to everyone, it can really help entrepreneurs to keep persisting and keep going and not get so hard on themselves.

Katrina Widener: I think that's also something very few people talk about. Like we don't normalize it. It's not something that people are very vulnerable about because I mean like the creative entrepreneurship world as a whole, it's this idea that we need to look perfect or we need to like, look like "I have it all figured out. If I were to talk about this or share about this, then my potential clients aren't going to want to come to me because they're not going to see me as this like super professional or all of those types of things." When I really see it oftentimes that having that transparency and that vulnerability is what can bring your clients to you because they feel seen and they feel heard and they feel like there's a safe space for them to talk about those issues if you're going to.

Allison Mosso: It really makes you human.

Katrina Widener: Yes. And I also really wanted to point out one of the things that you said was just this idea that like you can be showing up and you can be talking about all the right things, but that doesn't necessarily mean that visibility is going to be there just because you're there. And it comes from that consistency, and getting it from the right people, and it's a long-term game. And I wondered if you wanted to talk a little bit more about that and some of the ways that you've used to combat that feeling of self doubt that comes with rejection.

Allison Mosso: Yeah. So I'll talk two separate fears, the first one being visible online, whether it's social media or newsletter building or exposing your blog. So the first thing I really learned in my first I would say year and a half of building my business -- and particularly being on Instagram and making it a personal brand, which essentially is my business -- was placing my values on how impactful and educational my content can be.

If you visit my Instagram, you'll notice that is a theme there. It's pretty much all educational content with vulnerability and authenticity. And so, as long as I was sticking to those values and I didn't place my values on how many likes I can get or how many followers I can get -- and I'm not saying those metrics don't matter -- but if I wanted to keep going and not get plunged with self doubt, I had to rearrange my values.

So I normalized that "Hey, if I can create a helpful post that at least helps one person, then that's going to be amazing and I'll keep going." And then also, I'm sure you've had experts or will have experts on that talk about Instagram in particular and algorithms and everything, but it just, it takes time.

It truly takes time and consistency and effort. And on the other hand, you don't have to put all your eggs in one basket of social media to get your name out there. I talked about how I'm a corporate health and wellness speaker and I do a lot of sales calls, emailing, and the key there to get past the self doubt and imposter syndrome is to remember that these people receive so much input from their email box or their phones per day. And so if somebody is not getting back to you, then you keep following up and you normalize that it's not personal.

And then on the other hand, if that just was like, no, we don't need your services at this time, I used to get really sad about that and I would get frustrated and I would take it upon myself that I'm worthless. And what I realized from that is first off, like I said, in the beginning, you're not for everyone. Second off, it might not be the right time right now because maybe they just don't know your value quite enough. Or maybe you need to pivot your messaging more, but you can always come back. So I know you've heard me say this Katrina, but if I have somebody who's like, "We don't need your services right now". I'll be like, "Okay, thank you so much for letting me know. Do you mind if I reach out to you in six months?" And so it becomes this essentially then game, if you will, where I know that I can keep putting myself out there unless they tell me to just stop And of course I respect that.

And then beyond that, beyond all of that, which goes into both spheres of social media online and in person sales, is detaching yourself from the process, which I know you speak highly of is allowing your business to be a separate entity in your life. And, it would be unrealistic to say that like our personal lives and our business lives don't mesh together. Clearly if we're not taking care of ourselves, then that will flow into our business. However, you can also remind yourself that your worth and value isn't in who says yes right away.

Katrina Widener: I think that's something that's really important to shine a light on too, because I know like when we're talking about it not being personal, I know if I'm looking for a coach to work with, we'll say, there are going to be so many options out there.

And I'm looking for the person that I feel seen by, I feel heard by, I feel like it's the right fit. I know that they'll respect my boundaries or have these certain qualifications. And when I'm the person who's in the shoes of the buyer, it's not that I'm thinking personally about a coach if I don't want to work with them. So why should I think that someone's thinking personally about me, if they don't want to work with me, right? Maybe like you're saying it's the wrong time. Maybe they're looking for training in one specific aspect that I'm not able to provide. There's just a myriad of reasons that it could be and that has nothing to do with me as a human being. It just is about it being the right fit. If I'm going to go shoe shopping, I'm not like, Oh, I'm not going to get those size eight shoes because I hate them so much. It's no, I'm not going to get those size eight shoes because I need shoes that fit me and I'm a size six and a half.

Like when you think about it, that way, it really makes it seem like, "Oh yeah, duh. That makes so much sense", but when you're sitting on the side of the person who is getting told no, it can have this big, heavy feeling.

Allison Mosso: Yes. Yes. P.S. You have small, small feet.

Katrina Widener: I do have small feet.

Allison Mosso: Like, What's it like shoe shopping for you?

Um, I agree though. It's great because here's the thing is if we were working for another company and you had a, a supervisor or a company to back you up, you most likely wouldn't take it as personally, but because it's your own business and you most likely, if you're listening to this, pour your heart and your soul into your business, then it's hard to not sometimes take it personal because you don't have this company to say, "Oh, it's okay. We'll retouch on this. Or we'll pivot on this." You have to think for yourself, "Okay, logical brain. Emotional brain, I need you to calm down a little bit, but logical brain, like what can we do to help the situation, whether it's following up, pivoting, letting it be, or working on somebody's money, beliefs, whatever it might be.

Katrina Widener: So what would be one thing that you would say to anyone who is like, struggling with this right now, who is feeling like, Oh my gosh, I'm getting rejected, left and right. I am not getting the visibility or getting the clients or whatever it is that I'm wanting to get. What would be something, one piece of advice that you would give them?

Allison Mosso: Oh, goodness. I have three pieces of advice. One of the biggest pieces of advice which I'll go back to is to detach yourself from it, take the pressure off, and then it becomes aligned again. That's usually how it works I feel like for a lot of entrepreneurs who are leading from their heart and their soul is to take the pressure off yourself and see how that helps you bring in your true self when it comes to marketing and consistency. So detach from it and don't make this whole life about how many yeses you can get. Also, it's important to remember that if you were to get every single person to say yes, then that most likely means that you're not giving an impactful service or product. You don't want everyone to say yes to your products. You really want to align with that ideal client of yours, that it's going to be a good process because you know exactly why they're coming to you because your message is so clear.

Katrina Widener: I think that's also something where we don't usually think about it that way. We think about it as, "Okay, so I need to attract everyone. Why would I limit myself? Why would I say no, I'm only for this group?" or those types of things. And you mentioned earlier, like it's okay to not be for everyone and I think it's actually super important to not be for everyone because if you want to have that dream ideal client, that person who you're like, "Oh my gosh, I love going to these meetings. I leave feeling lit up. I'm always excited to see them. I'm always excited for our conversations. They recommend me to every single person that they know, they share about my insights on Instagram without me prompting them."

You want to speak to them. And if you're speaking to everyone, you're not speaking to them. Those are the clients we all want, but if I'm trying to be open and not being -- and you can niche down without it being like, I'm only helping this age range in this industry who has this one problem. Like you don't have to be that super specific, but when you Do get really clear on who your ideal client is and what you do want to help them with and how you can be of service, they're going to see themselves reflected in you and in your marketing. And then you're going to have that like magic, juicy relationships with your clients, as opposed to the ones who are like, " Hey, can you discount your services?" or, "Hey, can you do this thing that's not in your packages?" Or "Can I have this extra meeting?" Or they're not going to find what they need in you too, because you weren't specific enough. So it's almost like a good thing in some ways to repel people.

Allison Mosso: Yeah, absolutely. I think Mark Manson said this where he said you can't be impactful to some without being a joke to others. And it was, yes. I love that.

Katrina Widener: Wow. No kidding.

Allison Mosso: I have something else to add too, cause I can't help myself. I truly believe too, if you're in this situation where you're just feeling lonely and low with your engagement and visibility, network with other professionals, and you can define networking however you want to me, it's connecting with other entrepreneurs and see who you align with and, just be yourself. You don't have to come off saying, "Hey, do you have any clients for me?" But rather get to know each other on a personal level and then see how you can help each other on a professional level.

And the reason I'm saying this firsthand Katrina, because you have your group coaching, which is stellar, is it makes you feel less alone. And then you have other people that will help either be a referral to you and or help promote your services or products on their own platforms.

I know that when I joined a mastermind and I was promoting my Come Home to Your Body Academy, when I joined that mastermind, it was not only me posting on my platforms, but all of a sudden I had these other ladies that were willing to share my message cause we genuinely liked each other and they really believed and believe in what I'm doing.

And that felt so much more wholesome. So that's another thing is connect with others and, don't feel like you have to be eyes glued on social media all the time. If I were you, I would start reaching out to other professionals that you feel aligned with versus spending all of your time on Instagram or any other platform. Of course, that's my own bias too, in there, but some words of wisdom.

Katrina Widener: And honestly to echo that, like you and I met at a networking event, and then like you came on and worked with me and you've become a guest expert and I've hired you to come and present to the group and we're good friends. And we went snowboarding last weekend and it's like the beautiful things that can come out of just like saying hi to someone at a networking group. Like you never know what's going to happen. And I really love that you called attention to that because I think when people think about their businesses, they mainly think, okay, visibility means I need to show up on Instagram all the time.

But you also need to be creating and cultivating those relationships. And again, that just goes back to finding your ideal client and talking to the right people. And that honestly it will nip rejection in the bud a little bit too, just by talking to the people who are super aligned with you.

But then like you're saying detaching from the outcome of whether or not this person is right for you, which also kind of leads into scarcity or abundance mindset of there's always gonna be somebody there for me. There's always going to be somebody there for me, there's always gonna be somebody there for me, as opposed to " Oh my God, I need clients, any clients." Because the people on the other side of that exchange will feel that too.

Okay. So we're coming to the end, which I feel sad about because I feel like we just started talking about this, but what would be like the one last tip that you would give people who are sitting in this space right now?

Allison Mosso: Look at your own limiting beliefs as you echoed Katrina just a few seconds ago. Sometimes when we are having scarcity mode that energy will come off in a sales call or it'll come off in your Instagram stories and don't beat yourself up for it. And just take this time to understand, okay, what is it that I could do to improve my energy? Where do I need to lessen off the pressure? And how can I look at my values? So I spoke about this earlier with, Instagram, my values are education, vulnerability, authenticity. When it comes to putting myself out there in my content, my values are not likes, followers. If it were then I don't think I would still be on that platform.

So you can even do that in your overall view on life. What are your values in life? For me, my values have always really lied in my relationships so I can tell that if my business isn't doing great, something within my values is off and I'll usually have to take a look at, okay, how connected am I feeling as an extrovert and a generator for all you into human design.

Katrina Widener: Yes. Which this episode is coming after the human design one. So we're good to go.

Allison Mosso: I could have not paired that more perfectly. But one last note on that too is I know Katrina worked with me on this really is when I came to her, I had a lot of money limiting beliefs.

I always felt like I needed to struggle with money. And that was really blocking my pathway into gaining more people into my community and gaining clients. And so when I understood that I could want more money and that I don't have to struggle for the rest of my life to get money that really helped open up a pathway.

Katrina Widener: Thank you so much for sharing that. Okay. I seriously feel like there's so much more we could cover, but sadly we are at the end of our time. So the very last question I have for you is just where can everyone find you and listen in on what you have to say and learn more about you.

Allison Mosso: Yes, absolutely. I would love to connect with you. You can find me main place right now is on my Facebook group. So Mosso Nutrition and Fitness is my Facebook business name and the group Intuitive Eating and Finding Food Freedom. We have about 430 people I want to say in that group. And I talk a lot about food, nutrition, emotional health, and mental health. And I also have a heartfelt newsletter that comes out once a week. So if you feel aligned with my vibe, you can go to my website, MossoNutritionandFitness.com and sign up for my newsletter there.

Katrina Widener: Awesome. Thank you so much for coming on. I really appreciated it.

Allison Mosso: Thank you so much for having me. This was so much fun and it goes by way too fast.