Let’s all admit something: Starting a business is hard. Guest blogger Julie Nelson gets it.

We all become entrepreneurs because we have a spark of an idea or are passionate about serving others with our gifts and talents. That excitement fuels us in the beginning, propelling us forward, giving us the motivation to put in long hours and work hard in order to build our dream.

But what’s the secret to success?

Let’s be frank: They say that 50% of the life we live in this world doesn’t fall on the positive side of the spectrum. That means for every fun evening at a restaurant with friends, there’s a TV dinner alone at home. For every three days vacation, there’s three spent with a cold or the flu. For every positive experience or action in our life, there is an equal and opposite negative one. Now, that can simply be an hour spent bored on your phone or a meal burned on the stove — it doesn’t have to be something terrible. But it isn’t something positive.

When I first started coaching, I never anticipated the amount of people who would compare what I did to a friend they have, or a relationship they’ve cultivated. And I often hear the question: “Is it like that?”

So let’s clear things up once and for all.

At some point in my life, I learned the lesson that vulnerability was weakness.

Whether that was admitting failure, showing my emotions, needing to depend on another person…it all screamed weak to me.

One of the things we struggle the most with as humans is finding that person-to-person connection with others. Whether it’s finding a close friend group to support you, fellow colleagues and professionals to commiserate with, or a family to help us on our journey, relationships are at the heart and soul of any true balanced life.

So how do we find that community when we need it the most? Sometimes it feels so elusive, like everyone around it has one except for us. But here are the top tricks for finding your perfect community.

We’ve all heard the scary stories. A fellow entrepreneur or friend in the biz signed up to work with a coach (life, health, business, you-name-it) and were totally sold … only to find out the perceived value had no results to back it up.

So how can you tell before you sign the contract and send your money along? How can you be sure that the person you’re working with is the real deal? Here are a few things to look out for:

Okay kids, take a deep breath. I’m going to say something that probably won’t make you feel great inside. But keep reading, because there’s a purpose. The instant someone turns to self-deprecating humor, I immediately know a few things about them.

I’ll be the first to say it: Not everyone should hire a life coach. Sure, it may seem counterproductive for me to be discouraging people from working with one, but it actually isn’t. If you’re not in a place where you should see a coach, it would be a waste of my time (and your money!) to work with me.

There are a lot of amazing things that life coaches can do to help people. Be their sounding board, someone to hold them accountable, their kick-in-the-pants, a mentor, a friend, someone who has the knowledge and resources to help you achieve your goals…the list goes on.

But there are definitely those who shouldn’t work with a coach, at least not in this moment.