Let’s be frank: They say that 50% of the life we live in this world doesn’t fall on the positive side of the spectrum. That means for every fun evening at a restaurant with friends, there’s a TV dinner alone at home. For every three days vacation, there’s three spent with a cold or the flu. For every positive experience or action in our life, there is an equal and opposite negative one. Now, that can simply be an hour spent bored on your phone or a meal burned on the stove — it doesn’t have to be something terrible. But it isn’t something positive.

At some point in my life, I learned the lesson that vulnerability was weakness.

Whether that was admitting failure, showing my emotions, needing to depend on another person…it all screamed weak to me.

This is not a list of self care tips for taking care of you (although if it inspires you, bonus!). This is a list of how I have shifted, grown, overcome, and inspired myself to take care of me. This is a list of the best self care tips for Katrina Widener, life coach. And Katrina Widener, person. It’s one of the top questions I get: “How do you incorporate self care into your own routine when your job is to take care of others?”

And I want to be clear: While self care plays into balance, that isn’t the entire story. When I talk about balance, I mean building a life that you enjoy, that you don’t need to escape from. Where your day-to-day is aligned with who you are more than who you aren’t. Where enjoying a stiff drink after work or winding down with a hot bath aren’t the way you hide from the rest of your day. But how do you do it?

When I first started talking about imposter syndrome in podcasts, on social media, or on the blog, I got a lot of people with the same response.

“Wait, what is imposter syndrome?!”

I had no idea that it wasn’t a topic widely known. I assumed that the people I was coming into contact with knew what I was talking about. So rather than assume others know what it is, I decided to answer the question myself.

Finding time to be mindful in our day-to-day lives is already important, but we often forget that it's even more essential to do it right before closing our eyes for the night. You hear experts talk about living in the moment, practicing meditation when you wake up, and enjoying an hour of yoga each day. But no one focuses on the fact that we should be getting at least an hour of peace before bed -- to get in the right headspace for a good night's sleep, to prepare ourselves for the next day, and to reflect on what happened in the hours previously.

There are many times in our lives where we feel overwhelmed by our responsibilities (or perceived responsibilities!), whether it's in regards to relationships with other people, outer expectations in work and life, or the way that we view ourselves. One of the best ways to prepare for when these situations arise is to lay out our boundaries clearly and explicitly.

Just over a year ago, I was at one of the lowest points I've experienced in my life. I was living a life where I was unhappy every day, and now I look forward to what my days will bring.