Let’s be frank: They say that 50% of the life we live in this world doesn’t fall on the positive side of the spectrum. That means for every fun evening at a restaurant with friends, there’s a TV dinner alone at home. For every three days vacation, there’s three spent with a cold or the flu. For every positive experience or action in our life, there is an equal and opposite negative one. Now, that can simply be an hour spent bored on your phone or a meal burned on the stove — it doesn’t have to be something terrible. But it isn’t something positive.

And I want to be clear: While self care plays into balance, that isn’t the entire story. When I talk about balance, I mean building a life that you enjoy, that you don’t need to escape from. Where your day-to-day is aligned with who you are more than who you aren’t. Where enjoying a stiff drink after work or winding down with a hot bath aren’t the way you hide from the rest of your day. But how do you do it?

Raise your hand if this thought has ever crossed your mind:

“Am I lazy?”

Because I’m not afraid to admit that it has definitely crossed mine. You see, I’m not internally motivated. I’m not one to set gym goals and achieve them on my own. I can’t promise myself to do something and always expect to keep that promise. But it doesn’t mean I’m lazy. In fact, thanks to Gretchen Rubin’s The Four Tendencies, I know now it just means I’m an Obliger.

It’s time to say something absolutely radical: You should run your business (and your life) based off your feelings.

The Fire Starter Sessions by Danielle LaPorte breaks that all down. Instead of focusing on building a life that we think is what we’re supposed to be doing, it urges us to follow our inner truth to decide what direction to move forward in — both in our personal and professional lives. LaPorte moves through issues such as fear, rejection, marketing, hard work, money, and criticism to help us build a future that we feel excited for.