When I first started coaching, I never anticipated the amount of people who would compare what I did to a friend they have, or a relationship they’ve cultivated. And I often hear the question: “Is it like that?”

So let’s clear things up once and for all.

One of the things we struggle the most with as humans is finding that person-to-person connection with others. Whether it’s finding a close friend group to support you, fellow colleagues and professionals to commiserate with, or a family to help us on our journey, relationships are at the heart and soul of any true balanced life.

So how do we find that community when we need it the most? Sometimes it feels so elusive, like everyone around it has one except for us. But here are the top tricks for finding your perfect community.

I’ll be the first to say it: Not everyone should hire a life coach. Sure, it may seem counterproductive for me to be discouraging people from working with one, but it actually isn’t. If you’re not in a place where you should see a coach, it would be a waste of my time (and your money!) to work with me.

There are a lot of amazing things that life coaches can do to help people. Be their sounding board, someone to hold them accountable, their kick-in-the-pants, a mentor, a friend, someone who has the knowledge and resources to help you achieve your goals…the list goes on.

But there are definitely those who shouldn’t work with a coach, at least not in this moment.

And I want to be clear: While self care plays into balance, that isn’t the entire story. When I talk about balance, I mean building a life that you enjoy, that you don’t need to escape from. Where your day-to-day is aligned with who you are more than who you aren’t. Where enjoying a stiff drink after work or winding down with a hot bath aren’t the way you hide from the rest of your day. But how do you do it?

Working with a life coach can literally change your life — I know it did for me. But if you’re not working with the right person, or are struggling feeling like you’re on the same page as your coach, it can be a struggle instead. It’s so important that your coach is someone you trust and respect, and has your best interests at heart. Here are some of the top things to look for when finding the right life coach for you.

When you exist in the entrepreneur world, there are often a lot of services you need: social media management, search engine optimization, branding photos, business coach, marketing assistance, accountants, financial planners, virtual assistants, etc. And I can almost guarantee that if you offer one of these many services, you will be asked to barter. Social media for coaching? Photographs for accounting?

So the question arises: Should I barter my services? And if so, when?

We’ve all had it happen. The seemingly perfect client pops up, we feel an amazing connection, and just know that we’re going to work together….and then we never hear from them again. It’s incredibly frustrating, and makes us feel like we’re wasting our time. We ask ourselves — why, why — aren’t they working with us? Everything seemed so perfect! We were ready to get started! Where did they go, and why?

Well, let’s take a look at some of the most popular reasons why our service-based clients may walk away and never look back.

So in full disclosure, this recap is inspired by Paige Brunton’s annual post that goes over what she made, what worked out for her, and what didn’t. I love the transparency she shows — it’s such an amazing resource for other entrepreneurs! This year I’ve decided to really showcase what goes on behind-the-scenes so everyone (including me!) gets to learn from my challenges and my wins. Here we go!