Let’s all admit something: Starting a business is hard. Guest blogger Julie Nelson gets it.

We all become entrepreneurs because we have a spark of an idea or are passionate about serving others with our gifts and talents. That excitement fuels us in the beginning, propelling us forward, giving us the motivation to put in long hours and work hard in order to build our dream.

But what’s the secret to success?

Let’s be frank: They say that 50% of the life we live in this world doesn’t fall on the positive side of the spectrum. That means for every fun evening at a restaurant with friends, there’s a TV dinner alone at home. For every three days vacation, there’s three spent with a cold or the flu. For every positive experience or action in our life, there is an equal and opposite negative one. Now, that can simply be an hour spent bored on your phone or a meal burned on the stove — it doesn’t have to be something terrible. But it isn’t something positive.

Okay kids, take a deep breath. I’m going to say something that probably won’t make you feel great inside. But keep reading, because there’s a purpose. The instant someone turns to self-deprecating humor, I immediately know a few things about them.

This is not a list of self care tips for taking care of you (although if it inspires you, bonus!). This is a list of how I have shifted, grown, overcome, and inspired myself to take care of me. This is a list of the best self care tips for Katrina Widener, life coach. And Katrina Widener, person. It’s one of the top questions I get: “How do you incorporate self care into your own routine when your job is to take care of others?”

And I want to be clear: While self care plays into balance, that isn’t the entire story. When I talk about balance, I mean building a life that you enjoy, that you don’t need to escape from. Where your day-to-day is aligned with who you are more than who you aren’t. Where enjoying a stiff drink after work or winding down with a hot bath aren’t the way you hide from the rest of your day. But how do you do it?

Whether it’s in a podcast interview, conversation with a colleague, or when meeting a new client, one of the top questions I get asked is “How did I get started coaching?” I’d like to share that story with you.

Zodiac signs, Enneagram, Myers-Briggs (or 16 Personalities), The Four Tendencies … the list goes on.

As a culture, we’re currently wrapped up in the idea of understanding ourselves. Of figuring out how our brains work, why we make decisions the way we do, how our personalities are formed. And it’s interesting! But why do we do it? Why are we so preoccupied with the idea of categorizing our personalities?

Raise your hand if this thought has ever crossed your mind:

“Am I lazy?”

Because I’m not afraid to admit that it has definitely crossed mine. You see, I’m not internally motivated. I’m not one to set gym goals and achieve them on my own. I can’t promise myself to do something and always expect to keep that promise. But it doesn’t mean I’m lazy. In fact, thanks to Gretchen Rubin’s The Four Tendencies, I know now it just means I’m an Obliger.